Misha, Dark Cupcake of Goodness
MishaThe girl with the green eyes
Complicated. Unique. Intuitive. Sarcastic. Loyal. Feline. Soft yet Firm.
Sometimes Dark, Sometimes Shiney.
Artist. Belly Dancer.
Girl Scout. Educator Extrordinairre
Reading: Pox Americana, Geisha: A Life, Kabuki
Costuming: James' Ren Costume
Planning: beaded bedlah
Sewing: piratey goodness
Craving: C.C. Lemon!
Reviewing: Mystery, Desire Fantasy Bellydance
Working: 2 grant final reports
Move of the Month: jewel snaps
Layout template by pamelajoy and misha
The random musings and rambling thoughts expressed here are my own sweet delicacies. Read the chaos at yer own risk and enjoy the ride!
P.S. - the "good" stuff is usually friends-only...leave a post to be added
a meditation on waffles: mindfulness in marriage
this morning, i wanted to cook.
not something spectacular, but something that was at least nourishing, and tasty.
but all brian wanted was waffles. not hot off the griddle, fluffy honeycombed masterpieces. nope. he wanted the easy, quick frozen kind.
i offered eggs cooked a zillion ways, faux meats like not-bacon or not-sausage, i was even eyeballing my recipe for "breakfast cups" which is sort of an unholy yet tasty mix of multiple breakfast modalities all in a bite sized muffin cup. something frozen from a box seemed like a crime, like a horrible admission of not being a Perfect Wife. i could do better...couldn't i? surely there was something i could create for someone i loved and adored, someone who gave me so much.
nope. he wanted waffles.
sighing, i popped them into the toaster. at the first ping of the mechanical timer, i eyeballed them suspiciously. two pale yellow circles of wheat, yet they still appeared lackluster. poking at them, sure enough - they weren't done. cold to the touch...still frozen. if i was going to serve boxwaffles, they sure as hell would be done. so a few minutes later and i had something that looked like i'd at least maybe put a little bit of effort into it. golden, slightly brown on the edges...acceptable.
20 seconds onto a plate, and i was ready to serve. calling for brian, an amused voice replied "did you fix them the way i like them?"
and - that was it. the great pause. he likes his waffles a certain way?
now, before ANYONE tries to crucify me on the altar of feminism, or decides my husband somehow keeps me barefoot in the kitchen slaving for him, let me say that i LIKE knowing things like that. to me, it's the little things in life that we know about each other that can sustain us through the bad times. taking the time to be mindful of one another, to know likes, dislikes, passions, and fears...well, that keeps us close. i know that we won't always share everything, and that we certainly won't like the same things. but it's still incredible to learn these things and, whenever possible, to indulge one another. like when he shampoos my hair for me when i'm super stressed out, or when i go pick up sugar coke for him as a treat.
brian padded into the kitchen, soft feet on bamboo floor. he smiled and said, "let me show you." and so as he spoke i carefully set up his waffles. a pat of butter on each. then the syrup - carefully dripped so each individual square got a bit. and then the final touch; stacking one on top of the others.
when i was done, he kissed my forehead. "that's how i like them" he said and smiled. he has this way of saying things - in a quiet yet adorable way. i can't explain it, but it always melts my heart. and suddenly i realized, something that i'd despised was, quite possibly, the best thing ever to him. even now, after nearly 7 years of marriage and - geez - almost 10 years total together, i'm still learning. there's still magic in discovering little niceties about one another, and i'm mindful and planning to keep making that effort to love and learn.
i hope i never forget how he likes his waffles.
a blessing for insects
Lama Zopa Rinpoche blessing an insect - Rinpoche was visiting a temple, but made time to stop and bless the insect on the path. July 2008 via here
if you google search "insect prayer," "insect blessing," or "a blessing for insects" the results are equally disappointing and surprising. you won't find volumes extolling the virtues of the world's macro, or micro, invertebrates. rather, the search returns with articles whose titles of "are insects a blessing or a curse" and "plague of insects" conjure distaste at best and horror at worst. in fact, there are even a few blessings to ward off destructive insects
, but very little to celebrate them.
i discovered this while looking for a simple blessing to say "thanks" to the many insects i've encountered lately. they seem to have become my inspiration - dragonflies buzzing past me as i practice yoga outside, butterflies flitting by in the garden's filtered sunlight, caterpillars munching all summer long on our parsley, and the pernicious toe biter who's given me no end of ideas for dance of all things. i've even had a few memorable tactile encounters. on friday, we collected freshwater insects to share with a class; on saturday before the class i noticed one of our containers had a damselfly in it - it had hatched from its pupae! - it was a rambur's forktail. dainty, delicate; sky blue and soft green. as i moved the container, it fell from its careful perch into the water, and i panicked, quickly unscrewing the top to rescue the tiny insect. i dipped my finger in and it gently clung to me, pausing to dry before lifting off into the sky. it was a precious, rare moment - one that i was completely invested in as it happened - focused and intent upon the tiny dragon's life. a true gift, indeed.
so prayers, blessings, just general thanks...all for such tiny creatures...where is it? why doesn't it seem to exist? maybe we don't notice them (except when they "bug" us). or maybe we don't realize how much they help us. perhaps we just don't understand the role they play not only in our lives but those of so many other creatures. whatever the case, i take a moment to say "thanks" and humbly offer up a short blessing:
summertime drone of a lazy cicada
glint of light on iridescent dragonfly wings
butterfly floats on the wind
humming, buzzing, clicking, flashing
jointed appendages, quivering antennae
creeping, crawling, hopping, flying
infiltrated every place on earth
passing by us every moment
to serve, to feed,
to harm, to inspire
gratitude for a million tiny legs
and the vast array of wondrous unique bodies that carry them
each sighting, each encounter, a beautiful moment
<3 - M
Consider being kind to insects the next time you see one. Try to resist the urge to kill and instead focus on the miracle that is such a small creature, surviving in a world of giants. Skip the pesticide if you can, for what poisons the insects also poisons their consumers. consider, perhaps not loving, but at least respecting these tiny marvels. especially those rogues who we often dismiss: spiders (ok so they're not insects, but you know what i mean), who spin such beautiful webs and capture other creatures we may consider nuisances...mosquitoes - did you know that they actually eat flower nectar? it's true! the blood they collect is the building block of their eggs; they are only trying to nurture their young...roaches, beetles, grasshoppers - all good sources of protein for the colorful birds we love and even some humans too!
inspirations/meditations:Kan'ei-ji Temple, Uneo Tokyo Japan - a photo I took in 2010 - the monument to the insects who gave their lives for science. i loved this place so much; a scientist's homage to his study subjectsAnd here is Goddess Saki-Yama-Hime. She is the Japanese goddess of fortune and abundance, and there she is celebrated with crickets - sold during festival and taken to shrines, then released for kindness and good luck. The crickets fly to the Goddess and tell her all about the humans who took good care of them.
inspiration, dance, and other such things
things have been happening. i've been dancing more. someday, when i'm not dancing through life, i may be able to write about it.
but, for now, i'm just going to leave this here.
i'm inspired right now by toebiters...their abnormality, kookiness, strength, power, subtlety, speed, accuracy...i made a playlist inspired by insects and have been jamming out to it. i love the new freedom i feel to dance *HOWEVER* i want to dance, no limits, just fun.
life is good.
Dear gods. Day 14...from day 8. What the heck happened? Well, a lot. I went out of town for the weekend and found it was pretty difficult to always keep dancing. I did a bit of car dancing on Day 9 (well, ok, more than a bit) and on Day 10 as well. On Day 11 Day 12 and 13 I was a wreck - I did something brutal to my neck which prevented me from moving much at all, much less being able to dance. So I'm a few days behind.
And, honestly, still feeling poopy. But tonight, after really not feeling that great tonight, i finally forced myself to dance. and it was LOVELY. i wound up dancing for 20 minutes with wings. not super hard dancing, as my neck/shoulder are still a bit injured. so it was more like play time, but boy it was fun! i am in a parade on sunday and am using wings and it was great to re-familiarize myself with them. i listened to the music, and focused mostly on prop manipulation and movement, poses, and traveling with them. the time flew by, and when the last song of the set ended i found myself not wanting to stop.
and so i didn't! i turned on one of the new Zoe classes from Datura (one of the combos) and played with that. i find her dancing style so beautiful, yet it can be slightly rough on my body at times, so again i took it easy. i had watched it and thought "oh that will NEVER happen." but i was delighted at just how fast i picked it up. another reminder that limiting thoughts are just exactly that. i moved through it slowly and actually got it pretty quickly. it wasn't perfect of course, but then it didn't have to be. i had fun, got my heart rate up, and accepted - and made - the challenge of trying to learn a quick little combo. i'd like to come back to this one in practice and make it through the drills section; I sat out most of it as I was still nervous about the injury. But the section I *was* able to do went so well. It was wonderful to do the improv AND want to dance even more!